The Prayer of My Mama Heart

I sat down at my computer a moment ago to start my work day. Instead, I’m opting to take the time to write what’s on my mind. A rare occurrence these days. I am currently typing with my right hand as my left cradles my nursing 2 month old son. Aw, the new, small, daily adventures of motherhood.

I don’t care for the term “mother-to-be” often given to pregnant women. From conception, I firmly believe a woman is a mama. Something in her changes when she sees that little sign on that little stick that confirms the news of a life growing within her. At least, it did for me the first time I became pregnant. And even though I lost that young life just weeks later, my heart was not the same. It was the heart of a mama; a heart that hurt much deeper and that would give infinitely more of itself just to sustain the life of it’s child.

 A few months later, the Lord gave me another chance to love with my mama heart. Every day as my unborn baby grew, so did my love for him. Over 9 months later on December 7, 2016 I heard his cry for the first time. Sweet relief. I could finally hold him in my arms, see his precious face, and study every little bit of his fresh, squishy body.

Mama love knows no bounds. It just keeps growing through every long night and exhausting day. And this, I know, will be true until the day I die.

In the first few days with our boy, my husband gave me a beautiful goal with his words. He said,

"Just think. One day you’ll be to Hudson what my mom is to me."

My husband, Adam, has an incredible relationship with his mom, Pam. Though she’s mom to six grown children, she manages to make each of them feel as if they’re her one and only. She is the Proverbs 31 woman walking. Her children and husband really do rise and call her blessed. She has a radiant beauty in every way that flows out of her intimate relationship with her Savior. 

Her closeness with Adam has never threatened me. She has encouraged him as a husband and been my mentor as a wife. He values her wisdom, her hugs, and her care. As do I. I see the two of them laughing together and envision Hudson and me years from now doing the same. I want to be like my mother-in-law. I pray I can be a mama whose children and children-in-law respect, admire, and trust her the way Adam, his siblings, and I respect, admire, and trust Pam.

Becoming a mom is more demanding than any veteran mommy could have attempted to prepare me. But it’s worth it. Every second of it. I choose to cherish these days with Hudson as he continues to rely on me physically and emotionally for sustenance, comfort, and confidence.

These are the days for building the foundation of our lifelong relationship as mother and son. Someday when he chooses a wife, I pray my relationship with Hudson will not threaten her but result in a kindred friendship between the two of us. Just like I am now blessed to share with Pam.

"Just think. Someday you’ll be to Hudson what my mom is to me."

 And someday, I’ll be to Hudson’s wife what Adam’s mom is to me.

That is the daily prayer of my mama heart.

"Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also and he praises her: 'Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.' Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates." - Proverbs 31:28-31