Sanctified and Surrendered: Guarding the Wellspring of Life

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” – Proverb 4:23 (NIV)

In a time and a world where we are constantly bombarded with the advice to open up our hearts and fall in love, this verse stands completely contrary. For the longest time I have read this verse from the female perspective. As the female, I am the one who is pursued and so it is my heart that needs to be guarded, right? Well, that is partially right. This morning I read through chapter 4 seeking context. When taking verse 23 in context, one can see that the author (Solomon) is speaking to his sons:

“Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.” – Proverb 4:1 (NIV)

The chapter goes on to instruct the sons to seek wisdom and understanding.

“Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.” – Proverbs 4:6-7 (NIV)

This chapter is amazing because it explains how to guard one’s heart! Through the acquiring and obedience of wisdom and understanding one will guard his/her heart! Why is the guarding of one’s heart so important? Because it is the wellspring of life!

I am particularly zoned into the fact that this chapter is written to men because it shows that women are not the only ones who must guard their hearts. Just because men are the pursuers does not mean that they should not carefully protect their hearts with wisdom and understanding. A man who does this will, in effect, protect the heart of the woman he chooses to pursue. Heeding to wisdom and understanding above all else will provide him with mature patience so as not to pressure the woman in any way – emotionally, physically, or spiritually. By guarding his own heart first, he is removing from himself the temptation and tendency to manipulate the woman’s heart.

Although in this era we have few examples of noble men who guard their hearts, the Bible offers a beautiful, real life example of just that. King Solomon, a man who had all he could ask for and then some fell in love with a simple Shulammite woman. He romanced her, loved her, and waited patiently for her by practicing wisdom which guarded both of their hearts. Is it any wonder that their love story is the love story of the ages?

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.” – Song of Solomon 2:7 (NASB)

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you will not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.” – Song of Solomon 3:5 (NASB)

“I want you to swear, O daughters of Jerusalem, do not arouse or awaken my love until she pleases.” –Song of Solomon 8:4 (NASB)

King Solomon instructs the “daughters of Jerusalem” not to pressure the one he loves into opening her heart to him until she is ready. There is such significance in these verses!

• First, it is most significant that King Solomon, the one who stands to gain from the Shulammite woman’s love, is the one who is telling others not to pressure her toward him. This shows that he is not only protecting her heart from being manipulated by others but he is also selflessly ensuring that he does not pressure or manipulate her.

• Second, it is significant that he twice references “the gazelles” and “the hinds of the field” when he tells the daughters of Jerusalem not to pressure his bride. Like deer, the gazelles and hinds of the field are shy creatures. They are easily frightened. Thus, if you want to be near to one you must patiently wait for it to come to you. King Solomon was correctly likening his bride to the gazelles and hinds.

• Third, in verses 2:7 and 3:5 King Solomon is offering this instruction after the Shulammite woman expresses her desire for him.

o In verses 2:5-6 the Shulammite woman confesses that she is lovesick for Solomon and longs for him to embrace her. She is inviting him to be physically intimate with her and yet he responds selflessly by telling her friends not to pressure her toward him. He knows that she is falling in love with him, but physical expression of that love would be premature at that time. He uses wisdom and understanding to guard each of their hearts, even when she is letting her guard down for him.

o In chapter 3, the Shulammite woman tells about a nightmare she had in which she could not find Solomon. She searches for him and asks for him, yet he remains missing. Finally, she finds him. She says,

“Scarcely had I left them when I found him whom my soul loves; I held on to him and would not let him go until I had brought him to my mother’s house, and into the room of her who conceived me.” – 3:4 (NASB)

Solomon’s response was yet again selfless. This nightmare conjured up fear of losing the man she was falling in love with which caused her to feel a deep desire to cling to him and never let him go. Again, she was opening her heart to Solomon and willing to let him in. Still, he responded with wisdom and understanding by instructing her friends not to pressure her toward him but to let her continue to slowly fall in love with him in her own time.

o In chapter 8, the two were finally married. The two have spent some time verbally expressing their love and admiration for each other. In verse 3, the bride invites Solomon to physical intimacy with her once more,

“Let his left hand be under my head and his right hand embrace me.”

Solomon responds again by admonishing her friends not to pressure her toward him until she is ready. However, this time he does not compare his bride to the gazelles or the hinds. She is now his wife and the time for intimacy on every level has come. Pressure to fall in love and open her heart is not needed at any point in their love story. Without pressure from Solomon or those around her, the Shulammite woman was able to open her heart up and fully love Solomon all on her own. She was given time to be ready and at the times that she willingly would have rushed herself, Solomon protected her from the mistake that would be.

King Solomon won his bride’s heart through a selfless, patient, pursuit. He never pressured or manipulated her. Nor did he allow others to do so. Through wisdom and understanding, Solomon guarded each of their hearts. That was what made him noble. His bride was free to love him and open up her heart to him in her own time because he never threatened it! His selflessness protected her in every way- even from herself.

There is such beauty in the guarding of the heart! When one’s heart belongs to Christ, it is no longer theirs to open and give to whomever seems right. Christ makes our hearts valuable! He makes them worth protecting at all cost! He provides wisdom and understanding to those who seek it and so it is He who guards our hearts! Moreover, it is Christ who provides simple men with the ability to be selfless, patient, noble pursuers and it is Christ who slowly leads guarded hearts into openness and love. His timing and ways are perfect and must not be rushed.

My King Solomon is out there. Jesus is currently shaping both of us into the man and woman – into the spouses that He created us to be. The man I will one day open up my heart to and grow in love with until death does exist. Through Christ he is noble, wise, understanding, patient, and selfless. He will not manipulate or pressure me into love with him. Like the real King Solomon, he will allow all the time necessary for love to be true, trust to be built, and hearts to be opened. Our love story will be beautiful because it will be written by the Author of romance, deeper than momentary passions, selflessly developed, and daily used for the glory of our soul’s Lover. I happily wait for this and refuse to let down my heart’s guard for anything or anyone less.